


Mad in Space

by MadInSpace



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Enjoy the ride because it's gonna be wild, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff, Immortals in Space, Lesbians in Space, Plot Twists Galore, Romance, Spin-Off
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-04-07 16:02:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14084508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadInSpace/pseuds/MadInSpace
Summary: When two rogue Time Agents are given the opportunity to hunt down a stolen TARDIS, they think they've hit the jackpot. Unfortunately for them, said TARDIS is being piloted by a dead girl and an immortal and they aren't about to give it up easily. An alliance is drawn when they realise that they all have something in common, but can that alliance last when one of them is keeping a potentially catastrophic secret a little too close to their chest? Only time will tell.Fortunately, they have all the time in the world.





	1. Misadventure Begins

**Author's Note:**

> This is a project that I have been brainstorming for a shocking amount of time. Getting those words on paper is always a lot harder, but I'm hoping you might enjoy this story. We've had our ups and downs when it comes to spit-balling spin-off ideas, and I know that there are a lot of fans other than myself who love the idea of a spin-off with Clara and Ashildr, or Bill and Heather, or all of the above. I wanted to add a few of my own characters to that pot and stir them with a big ol' spoon. 
> 
> Whether or not I have succeeded is up to you guys. I like what I've cooked up and I'm hoping you might enjoy it too. Leave your comments, leave your kudos! Let me know what you think - and thank you to anyone who takes the time to even spare this story a passing glance.

 

The ship hung in space, confined by the singularity of its own existence. Distant stars cast an eerie glow over the dull metallic shape, highlighting the derelict structure to any creature who might have passed it by. In the vastness of space, that was very unlikely, but not impossible.

Mad sucked in a breath, clutching onto the worn metal walls of the ship’s interior as she burst into existence with a _pop_ and a flash of green light. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing the headache to pass before chancing a look at her surroundings.

Just as suspected. A dull, metal hallway.

The lights flickered overhead; it seemed that whatever ran this ship hadn’t died like its crew. Of course, that was only Mad’s theory. The crew could still be very much alive. It would just make things a hell of a lot easier if they weren’t.

Mad stepped away from the wall, casting her gaze to the automatic door at the end of the hall. Currently closed.

“Do you have visual?” Mad asked.

A voice – female - whirred inside her head, connected by a small earpiece fitted just behind the helix. “Not yet…” the voice said slowly, articulately. “Give me a sec.”

“In a sec I might be dead,” Mad said, walking forwards despite her orders.

“Always the dramatic one,” the voice muttered. A series of clicks followed. “No biological life detected behind that door, you’re good to go.”

“What about the hallway after?”

“I’ll tell you when you get to it.”

Mad’s lips quirked.

Upon coming within three feet of the door, Mad realised that it would not be opening automatically. “Shit,” she muttered, “it’s got an interface.”

“What ship doesn’t these days?”

“Was that supposed to be a joke?”

“You tell me.”

Mad rolled her eyes. She glanced to the electric panel fixed into the wall beside the door. Her eyes widened. “I win,” she said with a smile, extending her hand out in front of her. “These guys were definitely human.”

“How can you tell?” the voice asked.

“Five fingers,” Mad said triumphantly, pressing her hand against the biometric lock, perfectly fitting into the outline of a human hand that was lit up on the panel.

“Other species have five fingers,” the voice countered.

“Do you want me to lick it to verify?”

Somehow, Mad could hear her cringe. “I’ll pay you every credit I have for you to never say that ever again.”

Mad shrugged. “Whatever.”

Then the panel turned red. The light around Mad’s hand began to burn. She withdrew it with a hiss. “Shit.”

“Yikes.”

Mad’s eyes widened, she cradled her hand to her chest. “Yikes? What _yikes?_ ”

“Electric flare just lit up the security systems. I think the ship knows you’re there.”

Mad grimaced. “Well the ship doesn’t get a say in this.” She tapped her temple, closing her eyes. She was definitely going to regret this. Opening one eye, she said, “Plan B?”

“Sure.”

Mad wasn’t the biggest fan of Plan B. Not to say that it wasn’t a solid plan, it was just a little… new to her system. Using her index finger, Mad felt for the small lump on her right temple. Once located, she pressed. Hard.

New life whirred inside her mind. For a moment, her vision was lost to a bright blue flare. Mad winced, rubbing her eyes as her head began to pound for the second time upon arrival.

When she opened them, she was met with a pixelated figure no larger than the palm of her hand staring up at her. The figure was humanoid, but with no discernible gender. Just a vaguely human-like thing made up of blue pixels. People in the 51st century called them AI’s. Mad called them a pain in her arse.

“Hey Ze,” Mad said, acknowledging the AI. “Long time no see.”

“Hello Mad,” Ze said, nodding towards Mad. Ze cocked their head to one side. “Chell.”

“Welcome back, Ze,” the voice – Chell – said over the comm. She sounded a lot more enthusiastic than Mad, probably because the AI wasn’t eating _her_ brain alive.

“Can you hack this door for us, Ze?” Mad asked, stifling the urge to massage her temples. “Seems like this ship doesn’t like me very much.”

“How unkind,” Ze said in a voice that was both entirely stoic yet fondly amused. “Permission to enter the ship’s system to perform a security override?”

“Granted,” Mad said. If the AI was busy in another system, they would be spending less time causing havoc inside her head.

And just like that, the AI disappeared.

Mad sighed with relief, watching the door with folded arms and very little patience. Even if there was no life detected beyond this hall, that didn’t mean there weren’t others somewhere deeper within the ship. Mad and Chell had taken a bet on whether the ship would be abandoned or not; Mad had insisted it would be - from the exterior it looked as though the ship’s electrics hadn’t run for years. The crew could have been long gone for decades, leaving whatever they left behind free for the taking.

Chell, of course, had insisted it might be trap, or that the ship was simply conserving energy. She’d advised that Mad take a pistol just in case, and Mad had heeded that advice; she had one holstered to her thigh. Not that she expected to use it.

Mad tapped the holster without thinking, staring unblinkingly at the door until the locks clicked out of place and the structure began to give way.

Ze appeared in front of her again. “Security protocol disengaged,” they said.

Despite the headache, the AI was definitely useful. Chell had talked Mad into getting one fitted on their latest market outing. Dodgy devices were sold on the cheap all over, but there was one tech guru that Chell trusted above all else, and if Chell trusted them then so did Mad.

“Thanks Ze,” Mad said earnestly. “Let’s make the rest of our discussions non-visual, okay?”

Ze was a tech AI, stripped and stolen from a warship security system and hacked a hundred times over to perform like a scavenger’s wet dream. Ze could hack into almost any system, and they were proficient enough to run nearly any ship themselves, including the stolen one that Mad and Chell now called a home. Ze had a personality of sorts, and definitely seemed to understand humour to a certain degree, but they hadn’t been built for social skills and honestly, Mad was glad for it. The last thing she needed was a reason to bring Ze out for anything other than an emergency.

Ze disappeared on command, understanding their owner’s discomfort. The headache was a side effect that couldn’t be averted, but it was only a problem when Ze was directly connected to the user’s mind and not connected to a ship’s system. Unfortunately, to work on this ship, Ze had to hold a dual connection with both the ship and Mad’s mind, otherwise they would be booted out of the system entirely.

Mad walked through the door, finding yet another unassuming hallway. She groaned. “Chell?” she whined. “How many more hallways?”

“Okay, okay, I got it,” Chell said. Her fingers clicked away at the keys before her, safe and sound on the ship above. “When you come across the next door, turn left. You’ll see a door marked with a seventy three. We’re looking for eighty one. That’s the cargo hull.”

“Cargo?” Mad’s eyes lit up. “It’s a cargo ship?”

“Just finished the full body scan, it’s _definitely_ a cargo ship,” Chell said. “Not sure what kind of cargo. One way to find out though, right?”

Mad grinned. “Right.”

True to her word, Mad didn’t find any other living things as she advanced through the ship. There were a few creaks here and there, old sounds of an old ship settling in space. Aside from that, all that could be heard were Mad’s footfalls on the metal plated floor.

Sure enough, Mad soon stumbled upon the door she was looking for. “Eighty one,” she said out loud, just to verify her position. “Want me to open it?”

“Fuck yes I want you to open it.”

Mad grinned, tapping the side of her temple as an afterthought. “Ze, could you open eighty one for me?”

“Of course, Mad.”

In a few seconds, the AI had overridden the door’s automated lock system. After verifying that there were no security measures set in place – for example an airlock being set to deploy should anyone enter without clearance – Ze opened the door, allowing Mad entrance.

It had happened on several occasions that there were booby traps of sorts. The aforementioned air lock being on the top of that list. Mad had tripped on wires, narrowly escaped dematerialisation bombs and had had a fair share of close calls with unidentified poison gases. Fortunately, none of those things seemed to be in play on this ship. Further proof that this was nothing more than a long-abandoned vessel and absolutely nothing to be concerned about.

Mad smiled upwards, knowing that Chell couldn’t see her, but she liked to believe that her gloating carried even through the vacuum of space.

The room was large; it could have easily held four medium sized space crafts if it so wished. Instead, the room was filled top to bottom with crates of various sizes. Mad blinked in surprise. “Getting any readings?” she asked.

“Biological scans show nothing still,” Chell said slowly. A few more clicks succeeded her. “I’m doing one for alien tech, hang on…” A clatter sounded from Mad’s earpiece. She winced.

“Got it!” Chell exclaimed, her typing accelerating tenfold. “Okay, pretty dull readings. Whatever is in most of these crates is probably useless. Emphasis on _probably._ ”

Mad glanced at the crates. “Want me to pop one open?”

“And risk a booby trap for something pointless? Hell no.”

Mad, however, already had her hands hovering over the nearest crate.

Although the only weapon she had was the pistol on her thigh, to say she’d come empty handed was not necessarily true. Mad reached into the inside pocket of her tan jacket, shuffling around before finding her prize in the form of a small laser tool. It worked on just about anything, melting away locks in seconds. She would have used it on the ship’s doors if it hadn’t been for that pesky mainframe.

Before Chell even realised what she was doing, Mad switched the laser tool on. A red light emanated from the tip of the device. Mad grinned, slicking her dirt blonde hair back into a makeshift pony tail to avoid it getting singed. The second she had time, she was shearing it to her shoulders. It only got in the way past that. Hair dealt with, Mad slid the light through the top of the crate, cleanly slicing through the wood and single layer of metal that lay beneath. She grinned as she pried away the pieces.

Her face fell when she realised what lay inside.

“Nothing,” Mad said, digging inside the layers of Styrofoam just to prove her point. “It’s empty, Chell.”

“Huh,” Chell said slowly. “I… I don’t like that.”

“No kidding,” Mad said, flicking a piece of Styrofoam across the room. “Why would an abandoned cargo ship be carrying empty sealed crates?”

“I’m not sure…” A few frantic clicks from the other end proved that Chell was searching for an answer. “Maybe we shouldn’t be prying.”

“Screw that,” Mad said, turning away from the empty crate. “I’m here, there’s alien tech in one of these crates, now tell me where it is Chell.”

“Madeline…”

“ _Michelle._ ”

“Ugh.” Mad could practically hear Chell’s teeth grind. “Fine. Head left, I’ll tell you when you’re close.”

Mad grinned broadly, flashing a thumbs up to no one in particular. “Sweet.”

“Okay, keep going, keep going… not that one it’s a little further… okay. Stop. Right there; on your right there should be a box. It looks pretty big from the readings I’m getting, I don’t know what it looks like to you.”

Mad stared at the coffin-sized box that stood before her apprehensively. She swallowed. “Uh… pretty fucking creepy.”

“What?”

“It’s…” Mad tried to express what she was seeing with her hands. Realising that the gesture was pointless, she shrugged, reaching out for the box with one hand. “It doesn’t matter. You better be telling me the truth about hidden treasures, I don’t want my death to go in vain.”

Mad could hear Chell’s grin. “Would I lie to you?”

“Well,” Mad said matter-of-factly, slicing into the box with only half of her attention, “there was that one time you got married to an alien warlord. You lied to me about that.”

“That was _not_ a legally binding contract. Plus, I didn’t have a go at you after you accidentally got betrothed to that footstall!”

“It was a Melodromotone, it was organic and it was a sentient life form God rest its soul!”

Chell barked out a laugh at that. “Just get that box open so we can get the hell out of here.” Her pout was practically tangible through the comm. “You promised me a beach next.”

Mad rolled her eyes. Her tool sliced through the last of the metal plating and she bared her teeth in a well-deserved grin. “Honey, I’ll take you to Diamondis… the sand there is made out of miniaturised stars. Burns the fuck out of your feet, I really wouldn’t recommend it without the special shoes but trust me, it’s a sight to behold.”

“Damn Mad…” Chell sighed. “Sometimes I wonder...”

“Hm?” Mad cut the lid into four easily moveable pieces.

“Well…” Chell paused. “I guess I just wonder why you ever studied for the Agency in the first place.” Chell chuckled. “Clearly you didn’t need it.”

“What can I say?” Mad said, throwing the last of the wood and metal cleanly across the room. “I’ve got a soft spot for techies who want to rule all of time and space.”

“Mad, I’m being serious.”

“Holy shit.”

“Mad?”

Mad stared, open mouthed, at the sight before her. There was definitely no Styrofoam in this box, it simply wouldn’t have fit between all of that sleek looking weaponry. Mad slid her hand into the box, locking her fingers around a gun easily twice the size of her forearm. She prodded the trigger, a sly smile stretching across her face. “Chell, we just hit the motherfucking jackpot.”

“Mad…”

“ _Plasma_ weapons,” Mad stated, lifting the gun over her shoulder. She perused the others, each one of them varying in size, weight and shape; they were all a magnificent find. If Mad had to hazard a guess, she would say they dated somewhere within the sixtieth century. Well, at least she knew the vortex manipulator she’d stolen from the Time Agency’s archives still worked. Really, the whole heist had been a bit of a hit and miss on account of the fact that she’d been drunk at the time. Good to know she could still rely on the hunk of junk. That wasn’t to say she couldn’t _upgrade_ it with the right tools, but Chell oh so preferred to do that, and she was good at it. _Astoundingly_ good. So good it was sexy.

Where was she again? Right. Mad took another gun; this one was smaller, fitting comfortably into the palm of her hand. This was a Mark XX if she wasn’t mistaken. Small, but incredibly deadly. The heat behind this weapon could rival that of a small sun. Mad slipped it between her belt and jeans.

“Chell,” she said wistfully, “Diomondis is gonna have to wait. We’re gonna be _rich._ ”

“ _Madeline!_ ”

Mad blinked, snapping out of her revere as though Chell had poured a bucket of water over her head. “What?”

“I fucked up. _Big_ time,” Chell said, something about her tone made Mad tense. “You need to get back to the ship, you’re not alone. Another vessel just pulled in from hyper space.”

Mad froze. “ _What?_ ”

“This ship isn’t abandoned!” Chell ground out. “It’s neutral ground for a fucking illegal arms trade. Get out. _Now!_ ”

Mad had never acted faster in her life. In the second after Chell spoke, Mad was pressing her hand against her temple, yelling in several different languages for Ze to get back in her head and out of the systems.

“Wipe _everything,_ ” she demanded of the AI. “I don’t want anyone to know we were here. Put everything back that you touched. Hell, if you deleted porn I want it back in the history of this fucking ship!”

Ze complied with the efficiency born of an illegally modified AI. Once they were back inside Mad’s head and free of the system, Mad slammed her hand so hard over her vortex manipulator that she very nearly broke her wrist.

The green light that encompassed her twisted her stomach and made her ears pop. The air was sucked out of her lungs, only to be forced back in like an aggressive life guard performing CPR. One moment Mad was standing in the ship’s cargo hull, the next she was in another ship. _Her_ ship.

Her legs buckled and she fell.

* * *

 

“Ze, get out of her head. Back to bed with you, go on.”

The weight inside Mad’s head shifted as Ze joined the computer’s mainframe aboard her ship. Unlike the abandoned vessel, Ze could fully extract their consciousness from Mad’s to become one with the ship. It took a lot of pressure from her, literally. Mad blinked the spots away as consciousness returned to her. The cool metal of the ship’s floor felt comforting to her skin, but she knew she had to get up. She just wasn’t sure if her legs would let her.

“Come here, ups-a-daisy.”

A brown hand reached down in front of Mad’s nose. The smell of jasmine accompanied the hand which Mad gratefully took in her own. Gravity righted itself around her as she was pulled to her feet, meeting the brown eyes of one Michelle Andrews. Chell to her friends – though she only had one.

Mad sank into Chell’s arms, breathing in her scent.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” Chell said, hugging Mad tighter. Her chestnut hair tickled Mad’s nose. Mad suppressed an airy giggle, squinting her eyes shut.

“Are we out of danger?” Mad asked, clearing her throat when she realised how dry it was.

Chell pulled away, rolling her eyes. “Of course, I wouldn’t be picking your sorry arse off the ground if we weren’t at least three galaxies away from those twats.”

Mad snorted. “Suppose that’s true.”

Chell shook her head. “It was a close call, I thought for sure they would have recognised us. Thank God for Chula camouflage.” Chell paused. “Actually, God had nothing to do with it. Without me that camo would have never worked.”

Mad grinned, eyes dazed. “You’re prettier than a God anyway, and I’ve met plenty.”

Chell hit her. “Shut up.” She sighed. “Point is, I doubt whoever those guys were will be able to find us. The ship already told me none of those guns were bugged, so even if you did take a souvenir I don’t think they’d be able to track us through it.” Chell shrugged. “Honestly, kinda crappy if you ask me. If you’re going to trade illegal goods with someone, _always_ bug the merchandise.”

Mad pouted. “And you just assume I took something?” She pressed her hand against her chest. “What do you take me for?”

Chell smiled slyly. Her brown eyes lit up, reflecting the small flecks of gold in her irises. “I take you for a thief. Considering you stole _me,_ this ship and that vortex manipulator on your wrist.”

Mad lifted her hands in fake-surrender. “I wouldn’t have needed to steal it if you’d just passed your exams.”

Chell pointed an accusing finger. “You were a student too!”

Mad pressed herself closer to Chell. “Unless I just wanted a free place to crash,” she purred, “and your sofa was _oh so_ comfy.”

Chell raised a brow. “Really? Because if memory serves you didn’t do much _sleeping_ on it.”

“Whoa, okay, you got me,” Mad said, lifting the hem of her shirt to reveal the six palm-sized guns she’d hooked to her belt. “Just don’t shoot the messenger.” She wiggled her brows.

Chell’s fingers clenched before she could face palm. Instead, she smiled. “How much d’you think that’ll be worth on the Black Planet?”

Mad whistled. “Oh, I don’t know… twenty, thirty? Maybe forty thousand credits a piece.”

Chell’s face went through a range of emotions. Mad tried to follow them, but after the shock had passed she only really paid attention to the joy in her girlfriend’s expression. Chell grabbed her arms, squeezing tightly around her biceps. Mad’s lips curved.

“We’re gonna be rich,” Chell whispered.

Mad nodded excitedly. “We’re gonna be _rich._ ”


	2. The Black Planet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This new season of Doctor Who is just the motivation I need to get my arse in gear and start writing again. Thank you so much for your support, I hope you might like where this story leads.

The Black Planet was not – in fact – a planet. In actuality it was a small moon that rotated _around_ a planet that had once been called the _Black Planet._ Once sentient life forms had discovered the subset of space in which it existed, they had quickly found that the planet itself was not sustainable for life. That was where the moon came in.

Its smaller surface area was perfect for an air shield and artificial gravity generator. The moon was unknown to most, but known by many. Much like a child’s fairy tale, word had spread of the illicit Black Planet - a place where rules were few and illegal goods were sold in bulk to the highest bidder. But fairy tales were rarely believed, and most kept it that way. A fantasy at the back of their minds.

Only the maddest and richest sought out the Black Planet. Sometimes those two came hand in hand.

Sometimes they didn’t.

* * *

Mad punched in the coordinates for the Black Planet on automatic. She’d been doing it for years, and despite Ze making her job at the steering wheel completely obsolete, she still did it, just to spite the AI.

Mad and Chell had worked together for an uncountable amount of time. Uncountable due to the fact that a lot of it had taken place in different time periods – wherever the vortex manipulator had deemed worthy of them going.

All of time and space inside a stolen Chula ship. It wasn’t the fanciest travel method, but with the advancements that Chell had wired into the vortex manipulator, it didn’t matter. Besides, the Chula ship had been worked and refitted so many times that very little of what it had once been even remained intact. Chell was very efficient.

Mad sighed, tapping the metal fixtures at the front of the ship. Ze buzzed from somewhere, working automatically to move the ship in the right direction. It was better that way, at least when Ze was in the ship, they weren’t inside Mad’s head. That played all sorts of havoc with the multitude of thoughts that liked to crash inside her brain.

Suddenly, a pair of hands slid over Mad’s shoulders, rubbing calming circles through the tension wound within her muscles. Mad closed her eyes.

“You know,” Chell began with a sly smile. “Hand me a pair of scissors and I could lop off some of that hair right now.”

Mad cracked an eye open. A lock of her dirty blonde hair hung over the right side of her face, obscuring her view. In total, it fell just shy of her elbows in tangled waves. She huffed. “You have a point.”

“Always do,” Chell said brightly. She sat herself in the chair next to Mad, spinning around once before slamming her hands against the dash. “I can’t believe it,” she said for the umpteenth time. “I’m sorry but I really can’t. _How_ were we that lucky?”

Mad shrugged. “Beats me. Maybe the universe is finally cutting us a break?” She glanced out at the endless stars and dark before her. “Maybe not.”

Chell had been right when she’d called Mad a thief. Although, perhaps thief was too strong of a word.

Mad dabbled in all sorts of illicit work, but the work she did with Chell was mostly of the _appropriating_ kind. Most of the time, they’d respond to old distress calls, things that Chell’s reworked system could pick up that most ships designed to deal with those calls probably couldn’t. Sometimes they’d come across long-dead crew with a few sellable items to steal, sometimes they’d fall into a trap created just for the type of looters that they were.

Sometimes they’d travel to planets in the past, take items from kings or queens. Sometimes they’d wind up in elaborate tales, fall into whacky misadventure and eventually stumble back into the Chula ship with a handful of jewels that could be sold for double the price simply because they were dated back thousands of years.

Rich folk didn’t care about what they were buying so long as they were considered time pieces. Mad had once sold a roll of toilet paper from Queen Elizabeth II’s private chambers for that exact reason. The rich didn’t question time travellers, especially when Mad and Chell introduced themselves as rogue Time Agents. The fact that neither of them had ever completed their exams remained unmentioned. One glance at a piece of psychic paper was all it took these days.

They parked their ship on the outskirts of the air shield. No use parking inside; when the only people coming to the Black Planet were either rich or nefarious, there was no point chancing the odds. Either your ride would be stolen, or parked on top of by something far more impressive.

Mad and Chell had spent an afternoon designing temporary air shields for personal use. The old design that had been mainly used for Helium-3 miners and low-grade workers of high-end corporations were too weak for the void of space.  Mad had managed to tweak the design to make them strong enough to last ten minutes without issue. Chell had helped put the theory on paper and together they’d thrown together two perfectly usable personal air shields in just under two hours.

The normal traders were unsurprised to see two humanoid women step through the air shield with little to no protection. They’d seen it before, they’d probably see it again. A few of the rich watched with varying degrees of intrigue. Mad smirked. With the right tools she could pump out a few more of these puppies in no time. If she acted coy enough, she might just be able to trick these idiots into thinking they were hard to come by. It was easy when human intelligence was so often underestimated, even if she wasn’t technically human.

Chell was, though.

Before Mad had met Chell, humans had fallen into the same category that most aliens filed them under. Unimportant. Unintelligent. Ape-like.

Mad had travelled a lot in the time she’d been alive. She’d met all kinds of species and stolen so many goods that - to a human mind - it would seem incomprehensible to remember them all. Out of all the ships Mad had found abandoned, out of all the stock that she’d stolen and sold on the Black Planet, a good eighty percent of those ships had been human. They were like a disease, Mad had once thought to herself. They spread to every corner of the universe, fucking anything that moved.

 By the fiftieth century, the human race had formed their own group of secret time travellers using stolen technology that they claimed as their own. Mad hadn’t been able to help herself after that discovery. She was just human enough to pass one of the rudimentary exams that allowed her onto their station. After that, it was all about espionage.

God, Chell looked good.

She was human, but she was stunning. There was a power in the way that she moved, like everyone should drop what they were doing just to watch her walk. Her cargos were tucked smartly into her army-issue boots. Which army? Mad didn’t know; they’d stumbled across many wars during their travels. Some had been nice enough to share their clothing, others had been too dead to care.

Chell’s brown skin had a healthy glow to it, her toned arms peeked out from her sleeveless frayed shirt and her cropped hair fell smartly to one side, brushing gently over her right eye in a sharp diagonal.

Sometimes Mad wondered how she’d been able to steal Chell away from her studies. Chell would have gone far in the techie division of the Time Agency, she knew it. Maybe Chell wouldn’t have travelled the stars like some of the students at the Time Academy, but she’d have been in a good position there. She would have been put to work the second she’d handed in her final exam for marking.

But instead, Chell had chosen Mad. And Mad had chosen Chell. And now they travelled together and Mad could barely remember why she’d resented the human race so much in the first place. If they could create someone like Chell, well, how bad could they be?

Chell turned around, smiling brightly. “Where are we setting up shop today?” She had three of the stolen guns hooked into the loops of her cargos.

A long time ago, it had been laughable to consider the black market as an actual market place - the same that you might buy fruit or flowers from. Back then, illegal goings on had to be hidden at all costs. But on a desolate moon-planet where only the illicit knew where to look, dealings could happen in broad daylight and no one would come a-knocking. Not even the Shadow Proclamation knew where to go - not like they’d ever been hired to try.

After all, you’d have to be mad to go searching for a fairy tale.

* * *

“Steven, my main man!”

Steven was not his real name and, because of the gender complexities within most intelligent species of the sixty-second century, there was a high chance he wasn’t technically a ‘man’ either. Of course, everyone had a front on the Black Planet and no one went by their real name so, for the purpose of his work ethic, Steven was his name.

Steven was a green scaled humanoid. He shared most of the features of a common house gecko and Mad had seen him on more than one occasion grab a bug several feet from the air with the power of his incredibly long, barbed tongue. Steven always set up a table in the same spot. The goods he sold ranged between rare beasts slaughtered and ready for the roast to even rarer geodes from planets that even Mad couldn’t quite place. Because of the qualities of his skin, Steven explored some of the more barren, wasteland-like planets. Hot and dry air didn’t bother him, in fact he seemed to relish it. Mad was fascinated by him, such as she was with every species she met.

Steven waved at her, a gesture that she and Chell had had to painstakingly teach him. His gnarled claws shone against the light of the many stars that reflected against the Black Planet. He had several gas lamps hung up around his stall so that his customers would know where to look.

Just like most moons in this particular galaxy, the Black Planet didn’t have a natural atmosphere. One was generated through the slabs of unbreakable glass that were built like a dome around the entire marketplace. The glass was programmed to reflect that of derelict craters and moon dust. Any onlooker would pass the Black Planet without ever realising what it was that they had just missed.

The artificial biodome only glowed with faint light, so most sellers brought stronger ones to set up shop. While Mad fiddled with a fold-out table, Chell took a handful of fairy lights out of her pocket and let them float amiably above their trading space. Fairy lights held a different meaning outside of Earth – these were biological nano bots that took the form of glowing orbs. They processed neutral energy from the atmosphere and turned it into light. Although not much was known of their origins, they were completely harmless and sold in bulk from most retailers universe-wide. Mad had put it on her list of things to investigate once she found the time.

When the dome was alive with a multitude of alternative light sources, only then did the real fun begin.

Ships of various shapes and sizes landed on the outskirts of the planet, leaching like parasites to the artificial gravity that kept everyone’s feet planted firmly on the dusty ground.

Mad and Chell worked the crowd, catching the eyes of passers-by with the ease and charisma that came from years of experience. Chell aimed some practice shots into the air, showing the height at which the plasma blasts penetrated the atmosphere. They never reached the dome’s roof, but they didn’t need to, everyone knew the power behind those bullets. Weapons like the Mark XX were known for their strength, their ruthless instability. Customers flocked to them, eagerly assaulting both Chell and Mad with their credit bracelets, fighting and bargaining over their remaining stock.

Mad looped one of the few remaining pistols from her belt, handing it to a small red creature with spikes protruding from his face. He took it with fervent eyes. The minute their hands brushed, Mad’s silver bracelet locked with the one on the creature’s wrist. After a few moments, the bracelets flashed and disengaged. Mad checked the new balance on her bracelet with lazy eyes before nodding to the creature. Their business was done.

“That’s the last of them,” Chell said as she handed over a pistol to a creature whose face was made entirely of jagged teeth. She didn't appear sure quite where the creautre's eyes were, but she gave her brightest smile as they shook hands, bracelets catching in their magnetic lock before the credits were transferred.

“Nice doing business with you,” Mad told the creature, who gave a formal bow that included a hand gesture that Mad repeated out of the utmost respect. Chell followed suit and they waved the creature off.

“That thing was definitely part shark,” Chell muttered, still waving.

“It actually has eyes in the back of its head,” Mad pointed out calmly, lowering her hand. “See those five black marks near the base of the skull?”

Chell nodded silently.

“Eyes,” Mad said. “Wanna know where his dick is? The answer might shock you.”

Chell thumped her.

Mad grinned. “C’mon, let’s pack it up before anyone gets jealous of our earnings.” She waved about her bracelet. “What shall we do with them? Oh! I know!” Mad clapped her hands together. “Asteroid party!”

Chell nearly blanched. “Please,” she said, rubbing her head in apprehension. “I’m still getting over the last hangover.”

“Which is exactly why we need to do it again!”

“No, we really don’t.”

Mad pouted. “Party pooper.”

Chell grabbed a fairy light from the air above them, holding it firmly against her palm. “What about the beach you promised me?”

Mad’s eyes lit up. “Oh, wonderful idea! Beach party!”

“If the cocktails on Diamondis are any good, I’m game,” Chell said as she stuffed a handful of fairy lights back into her cargos.

Mad smirked. “Oh honey, they’ll blow your mind.”

Chell paused. “Figuratively, right?”

“Sure.”

“Mad-”

But Chell didn’t finish, for Steven suddenly decided to make a sound much akin to that of a dying animal, or perhaps two dying animals having ungodly sexual relations. Mad spun to face him, only to realise that the creature had shrunk back in apparent terror. He hooked his black and gnarled claws around the last of his things, rare geodes falling from his arms, and disappeared in a flash of blue light. Transmat technology, not quite as lizard-like as the rest of him.

Mad turned to where Steven had been looking to find someone walking towards their stall with purpose so intense it burned. Most people came to these places with a plethora of credits and no idea what they might spend them on. This woman, however, knew exactly what she wanted.

She was human in appearance with black skin and a shaved head. She wore a red silk jumpsuit that billowed around her ankles and her golden sandals made speedy tracks in the dark moon dust at her feet. She wore a gold necklace; it was thick and layered and looked more expensive than what some of the traders here had to offer. The woman was rich enough to be here, and her moss-green eyes definitely screamed menace. Still, something about her posture told Mad that this was her first time on the Black Planet.

The woman placed her hands, long and thin and painted gold, on the stall front Mad had yet to dismantle. Her sharp nails dug into the wooden panels.

“Hello,” she said in a dismissive tone.

Mad gaped at her. She turned to Chell to make sure her girlfriend saw the woman too. By the way Chell had frozen, she could definitely see her. Mad turned back to the woman and, with all the strength inside of her, smiled brilliantly.

“Why, hello there!” Mad said, opening her arms wide. “Welcome to our illegal gun trade! Unfortunately, we’re all out of stock at the moment, but maybe if you pop by in a few weeks we’ll have-”

“Cease talking,” the woman said. Mad snapped her teeth together.

The woman sniffed the air, nostrils flaring. She wrinkled her nose. “You both stink of cheap time travel,” she said as though it was the lowest insult, perhaps it was. “It is unfortunate that we must come to this, but I see no other way. And so, I am here.” The woman raised her brow. “I need your help.”

Mad frowned. “Who the hell _are_ you?”

“Mad,” Chell whispered. “Shut up.”

Mad glanced at her, offended. “What?”

“Don’t you know who this _is?_ ” Chell squeaked, grabbing at her belt to release her phone. It was a thin slab of tinted glass that fit in the palm of her hand. After some quick tapping, Chell brought up a wall of text which she shifted effortlessly into a holographic image.

Mad squinted at the text. Her frown deepened. “This is the Time Agent codex.”

“And just what was the Time Agency created for?” the woman asked indignantly.

“To change without interfering,” Chell said automatically. “To leave an effect with no evidence of cause. To be untraceable, undetectable, invisible.”

“To fill the gap they left behind,” Mad said slowly, looking at the woman again with new-found interest.  

“You two are incredibly slow and it bores me greatly,” the woman snapped. “What I am is no benefit to you. What I ask for is of the greatest importance.”

“And what would that be?” Mad demanded.

“I’m sorry about her,” Chell breathed.

Mad rolled her eyes.

“I need you to locate someone for me,” the woman said quickly, cutting into their spat like a hot knife against butter. “Someone has stolen something of great importance to my kind. I need you both to find it and bring it back to me.”

“Why should we?” Mad rounded on the woman now, hands balled tightly. “We’re scavengers, we don’t find people. _Also,_ ” and she pointed at the woman, “I don’t care!”

“Who are you looking for?” Chell asked, revered.

“Whose side are you on?” Mad snapped.

“Someone has stolen a time travelling device from my people. A very potent device.” The woman paused, waiting for the weight of her words to sink in. “A ship.”

“Oh,” Mad said, looking at Chell and then back at the woman. “Oh, you’re not… oh _tell_ me you’re not…”

“Time Lords!” Chell said, so clearly and so loudly that her voice reverberated in the air around her. Chell slapped a hand over her mouth to keep from squealing. “You’re a Time Lord?”

The woman didn’t look very pleased about this, but she nodded stiffly. “It is of no concern to you who or what I am,” she repeated distinctly. “Only what you choose to do to help my people.”

Mad closed her eyes, rubbing small circles across her temples. Not five minutes ago they’d been planning a week-long beach party. Now? What the hell even  _was_ this? “Choose?” Mad picked her words carefully, but she didn’t keep the exasperation from her voice. “That’s an interesting choice of vernacular, it’s almost like we have one.”

Chell glanced at Mad, stiffening where she stood. “Mad,” she whispered.

“No offence,” Mad continued without listening, “but the whole reason the Time Agency was deemed necessary in the first place was because the Time Lords just up and disappeared one day. Time Lords were supposed to stay out of the affairs of all other lifeforms to protect the rules and balance of time and space.” A slow, thin smile crept onto Mad’s lips. “Then you got your arses handed to you by a bunch of tentacle monsters in tanks.”

The woman, to her credit, remained very still. Her fingers were stiff against the wood and Mad could see that her nails had begun to drag the thin layer of varnish from the surface, leaving uneven tracks behind.

Chell glanced back to the woman nervously. “Mad,” she warned. “Maybe we should just hear her out?”

“So someone stole one of your time machines?” Mad said, faking intrigue. She wrapped her arms around her chest. “Interesting. Because the last the universe knew of you, your people were dead. You shouldn’t have time machines left to s _teal._ Which means, whatever problems you’ve found yourself in, their yours and yours alone.”

“I will pay you,” the woman said quickly.

Mad laughed, a hard and brittle sound. “We have credits. Didn’t you just see the loot we sold? Mark XX’s. Rarest of the rare.” Mad lifted a brow. “You’ll have to do a lot better than that, sweetheart.”

“Time Lords don’t pay with money,” the woman said snidely. She looked at Mad, really _looked_ at her, and Mad realised what she was doing a second too late.

“No,” Mad said. Her heart rate kicked into gear and she stumbled backwards in surprise. Chell looked at her in bewilderment.

“You’re lost,” the woman said unflinchingly. “I understand why I was told to scout you out. You are the exact kind of talent that we can strike a deal with.”

“I don’t get it,” Chell said. She took Mad’s hand, but Mad flinched away. Her eyes never broke from the woman’s.

“Who do you think you are?” Mad spat, she could feel her face heating up. “You don’t have a right to do that.”

“But I did,” the woman said, a coy smile of her own winding across her features. “I know what you want, _Mad._ I can give you the answers you desire. I can open the part of your mind that you so wish to access.”

“What is she talking about?” Chell hissed.

“Nothing,” Mad said roughly.

“Oh, it is most certainly not _nothing,_ ” the woman sang. “I am surprised she would keep it from you. Of course, you will both have plenty of time to discuss these matters after you have helped me find what I am looking for.”

* * *

Mad was uncharacteristically quiet. As Chell looked at her, she realised that her girlfriend was stood ramrod straight. Her hands were tense at her sides, and one of her fingers was flicking restlessly at the last Mark XX she refused to sell. Mad would shoot this woman if she needed, Chell knew it. Her girlfriend could be ruthless and sometimes, if an enemy didn’t give them another choice… well, this wouldn’t be the first time that Mad would have pulled the trigger.

But this was different. This woman wasn’t as simple as an enemy, no, she was a whole other entity. To two drop-out Time Agents, she was practically a goddess in humanoid form. The epitome of everything they had worked towards at the Academy. Everything that they had abandoned.

As she watched, Chell knew that Mad was both terrified and angry and those emotions never mixed well with her. Her blonde hair, darkened by the lack of natural sunlight, caught across her face in a phantom breeze. It cascaded and curled, teasing the rounded angles of her face. Chell thought it inappropriate to find Mad attractive at times like these, but it rarely stopped her. The only thing stopping her now was her own curiosity.

“We’ll do it,” Mad said suddenly. Her hand fell flat, abandoning the thought of pulling out her weapon. Chell let out a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been keeping.

“I thought you might,” the woman said, flashing her teeth. “I can give you the information you will need to track the ship.” She gestured vaguely to Chell’s hip. “Your low-grade vortex manipulator should suffice for your journey.”

“ _Low-Grade?_ ” Now it was Chell’s turn to be angry. “I’ll have you know that before I got my hands on this bad-boy, it could only teleport two people at a time, maximum.” Chell patted it fondly. “Now it can take our whole ship with it.”

“Impressive,” the woman said without sounding impressed at all. “Did I mention that you will be required to steal back a TARDIS? They are… a little more complicated than a minor upgrade to your cheap and frankly unhealthy time hopping methods.”

Chell suddenly felt the urge to pull Mad’s gun out for herself. She quelled it, resting her hands firmly on the table. She still knew Mad was tense and staring daggers at the woman, so she bumped her girlfriend’s hip and smiled a smile big enough for the both of them.

“So,” she said. “How do we start?”

The woman had come prepared with co-ordinates of the last sighting of her people’s stolen ship. A _Time Lord’s_ ship. Chell had heard stories of TARDIS ships, they held whole other realities behind their doors and could hide in plain sight using the Chameleon Circuit – a science that had yet to be perfected anywhere else in the universe.

Cloaking was all about reflecting light, but the Chameleon Circuit could literally turn a TARDIS into anything within the realms of possible. Chell had taken exams on it, she had studied the Time Lords as history – a long dead species. They had been the start of the Time Agency, the very reason that humans had taken time travel into their own hands in the first place. Gallifrey had fallen and so various human colonies across the universe had banded together. They’d raided technology, stolen and built upon millions of different ideas to create vortex manipulators.

Of course, a vortex manipulator was cheap and disgusting to the eyes of a Time Lord. And now Chell would have the opportunity to see why for herself! She was going to steal a TARDIS! A real TARDIS!

Of course, she gave none of this away. She stood in amiable silence beside Mad as they discussed what they were to do.

Mad still looked haunted by whatever the woman had seen in her. Chell didn’t like it, her girlfriend was never this quiet – never this concise. The fact that she wasn’t insulting anyone right now was enough reason to feel concerned. Mad was quiet, she was tense and she wasn’t happy that she was following this Time Lord’s direction.

Chell knew the reason Mad had accepted this task and so did this woman. Whatever she had seen missing inside of Mad’s head, Mad wanted it. Chell could feel an unease settling inside her stomach. Mad could speak for days without saying anything and the fact was, Chell knew only small chunks of her girlfriend's past. In many ways, she was just the girl who had turned up in her student flat one day, sunglasses balanced on her nose and two margaritas in her hands. She’d swung her way effortlessly into Chell’s life and Chell had never been angry about it. Never questioned it.

Was it silly to say that she did it for love? Was it sillier still to remain so adamant on that ideal even when the simple truth was that she’d never wanted to ask? Never thought it necessary? She’d drunk in all of Mad’s crazy existence, flown away in a banged-up Chula spacecraft Mad had stolen from an underground junkyard. She could have finished her exams and yet here she was, speaking to a Time Lord on the most illegal moon in the universe. And she was about to steal a TARDIS.

And she was _happy._

“What do you know about the people who took it?” Mad asked rigidly. Her demeanour was still the same, but she was asking questions. That was better than nothing.

The woman looked at her. “You assume they’re people?”

Mad shrugged. “If they were Time Lords we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

Chell’s studies had never taken her to the root of Time Lord politics, but she knew they were harsh. To be taken to court could be a nation-wide ordeal, especially for crimes against time itself. If a Time Lord had been responsible for this, they wouldn’t have made it this far. Only those with Rassilon’s blessing could have left the confines of Gallifrey unscathed.

Chell suddenly wondered what had become of Gallifrey. Those who still remembered the Time Lords only knew that they had died in glorious battle. A terrible ordeal with one of the most hated species in the universe. A parasitic, mutated species that had been birthed by Davros, a crazed mad-man with a plan to control the whole of existence with his ungodly children.

Chell stared at the Time Lord in front of them, at the regal power that she possessed. Chell wondered what rank she held. Was she blessed by Rassilon? Was Rassilon still alive? Did this woman own a TARDIS, or was the reason for this investigation due to the lack of time machines Gallifrey now possessed? It all came reeling back to her first question, and Chell could feel it inching its way forward in her mouth, pressing against the back of her teeth with incessant pressure.

“They are like her,” the woman said, nodding towards Chell.

The question fled in an instant. Chell’s fingers clenched. “Me?” she squeaked. “A human managed to steal a TARDIS?” She didn’t try to hide the disbelief in her voice.

Mad snorted. It was short and derisive, but for a single moment Chell was certain she had seen her girlfriend smile.

“Go on,” Mad said. “Answer her.”

Chell’s stomach churned.

The woman was looking at her now, dark eyes level and cold. “They are of human origin, yes. However, neither one of them could be considered that now. They have been altered by time. The only thing that matches them to human now is their likeness in appearance.”

Mad tipped her head towards Chell, glancing at her fondly. “That’s just a fancy way of saying we’re right.”

Chell chuckled. She pressed a fist against her lips to keep her laughter at bay, but Mad was still looking at her. Her murky blue eyes always seemed to be on the precipice of a storm, but they regarded Chell with the warmth of a summer’s day in the Caribbean. Chell had to hug her chest with her free arm to keep from blushing.

“Clearly you two aren’t taking this seriously,” the woman said.

Mad looked back at her coldly. “Clearly,” she said. “I’m sorry. It’s just I find it a little hard to believe that some humans managed to find Gallifrey – a planet that has been thought destroyed for who knows how long – and that they managed to steal a TARDIS without being captured.” Mad’s eyes clouded over and Chell felt the atmosphere around her cool along with it. “I think what’s _clear_ to me is that this isn’t the whole truth.”

“And you think you deserve the right to all of it?” the woman snapped. “I have promised you answers in return for your assistance. At no point did I promise the whole truth to you.”

Mad rolled her shoulders. “Do you think we’ll be able to deliver if you don’t?”

“She’s got a point,” Chell said. “I mean, if we don’t know what we’re up against, how are we supposed to get this ship back for you?”

Mad grinned, sharp as a blade. “See? Honesty is the best policy.”

“I taught her that saying,” Chell added.

The woman looked between both young women. There was a moment of clarity, Chell decided. A moment when she realised that she had reached an impasse. She had arranged this discussion believing her intelligence and strategy to be sound. She hadn’t expected such a rebuttal.

Her jaw tensed. “The humans have been touched by the Time Vortex. One of them more poignantly than the other. They are both protected by obstructions to nature that go beyond our capabilities.” The woman gave both Mad and Chell a pointed look. “What do you know of the Mire?”

Chell frowned. “They’re one of many war species.”

“Big on holographic tech to build themselves up as Gods to more undeveloped civilisations,” Mad added. She had that fervent gleam in her eye – the same she had whenever she was able to talk about another species at length. “They collect the strongest of a species and make war with them. Usually giving themselves an unfair advantage so that they can win every time. They feed off of the life force of their opposition, which only makes them stronger and more capable the next time-”

“Yes,” the woman said, cutting Mad off. “I am aware of what they can do.”

Mad pursed her lips, eyes dimming.

“So what is it we need to know about them?” Chell prompted.

“One of the human women who stole this TARDIS is outfitted with a Mire chip. A healing device. It halts the aging process and thus makes the user immortal.”

Chell’s chest tightened. She wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Huh,” she said. “Wow.”

“The other,” the woman continued, “is the most dangerous woman in the known universe.”

Mad laughed humourlessly. “How so?”

The Time Lord paused again. It was clear that she was giving up valuable information. Information she hadn’t initially been willing to part with. Finally, the woman said, “She is one half of the Hybrid, one of the most dangerous components to all of time and space. The Hybrid was foretold by Gallifreyan scripts to bring about the end of everything.”

Chell stared at the woman blankly. This went beyond her knowledge of study. Whatever the Hybrid was, it was a secret Gallifrey took to its somewhat fictional grave.

Mad, however, buckled towards the table, hands gripping it for support. Her fingers were white against the wood as she squeezed it uselessly, hissing in pain.

Chell was with her in an instant, hands biting into her flesh, holding her steady, trying to support her with whatever she could give. Her brows knitted together in worry. “Mad,” she said quietly. “Maddie, sweetie, what is it? What’s wrong?”

Mad’s eyes were squeezed shut. She shook her head. “It’s nothing,” she muttered, but her lips were trembling and she suddenly looked awfully sick.

Chell’s expression softened. “Is it your head?”

“Can we not?” Mad asked desperately. She breathed through her nose, forcing her hands to loosen from the wood. “I’m fine.”

“I wasn’t informed that there should be a concern for your health,” the woman said, unfazed. “I should hope that you won’t drop dead before you can complete this task.”

Mad gritted her teeth, shrugging her arm so that Chell knew to let her go. She straightened and although her face seemed pale, there was a readiness to her expression – a strength. Chell marvelled the way she could do that.

“It’s nothing to worry about,” Mad said smoothly. The tremble in her voice was barely perceptible. “I was recently outfitted with an experimental AI. Sometimes, the frequency between the ship and my head gets crossed and it causes headaches. They pass.”

The woman nodded. “I should hope so.”

“You were saying,” Chell said quickly, urging the conversation forward. “Y’know, about the Hybrid and the end to all of time and space. That’s what stole your ship?” Chell crossed her arms. “I mean, sounds easy enough, right Mad?”

Mad looked at Chell gratefully. “Right.”

Chell lifted a finger. “I couldn’t help but notice you said _one half_ of the Hybrid. Where’s the other?”

“Not your concern,” the woman said thinly.

“Well if she’s only half of the Hybrid then she can only bring half of the destruction of the universe,” Chell continued plainly. “Or do I have something wrong?”

The woman’s expression was as cold as stone. “It is an old prophecy,” she said. “It has outlived its purpose.”

“So the woman holds no threat?” Mad asked, a ghost of a smile crossing her lips. “Incredible how Time Lords aren’t equipped to deal with something like that.”

“You have your co-ordinates,” the woman said, and it was clear she was taking every effort not to snap. “This map will update on any known activity that I feed to it. They haven’t moved from this subsection of space,” and she pointed to the map where a light glinted like a diamond, “in almost seventy-three hours.”

“That’s a long time for someone trying to be sneaky,” Chell agreed.

Mad snorted.

The woman looked to the heavens with great regret before she rolled the map up and practically thrust it into Mad’s arms. “You do this and I will reward you with what you need. You _fail,_ and know that you will have the wrath of the Time Lords to deal with.”

“Quite a wrath,” Mad said, “considering you should all be dead.”

The woman sneered, lifting herself away from the table. Her golden fingers tapped at her thigh before she turned. All around them, other sellers such as themselves had long-since closed shop. Beneath the dim setting of the Black Planet’s air shield, only Mad and Chell remained.

The woman left as rapidly as she came. Her sandals tracking dusty footprints as she made for the air shield gate.

Somewhere between the gate and Mad and Chell’s visual of her, she disappeared. Transmat energy a lot fancier than Stephen’s whisked her away into oblivion.

Chell looked at Mad uncertainly. She was stood very still, cradling the map in her arms.

“Are we really doing this?” Chell asked.

“Do we have a choice?” Mad shot back.

Neither of them knew the answer.


	3. Tempest's Wrath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And as the season finale washes over us, I thought I'd drop my next chapter. I'm so glad you guys are liking what I'm laying out; your comments and kudos really mean the world to me!

Mad was uncharacteristically quiet on their journey back to the Chula ship. She kept the map under her arm, bicep taut around the holographic paper.

Chell didn’t say a word as they travelled the short distance through space, guided only by their air shields and hand-crafted propulsion tanks. She didn’t say a word when they entered the ship, when Mad threw the map on the first empty surface she saw. She didn’t say anything when Mad kicked her legs up onto the ship’s dash and stared listlessly out into space. Mad didn’t take an interest in the map or their new imperative, it was almost as though she had dismissed it already.

It was only when Mad reached for the small nodule where Ze was kept that Chell broke her silence.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” she asked.

Mad looked at Chell, blinking slowly. There was something clouding her eyes, and Chell had to lock her jaw to keep from looking away.

“We’ll need Ze,” Mad said off-handedly, “if we want to programme these new co-ordinates.”

“So, you are on board with the plan then?” Chell asked.

Mad snorted. “Of course. I already told you.”

“No, you didn’t,” Chell said, a little flustered. “You said we didn’t have a choice. If this is what you want to do, I’ll help you, of course I’ll help you. But if it isn’t… if you’re doing this because you think you have some debt to pay to get whatever the hell it is that Time Lord has over you, well, then…”

Mad’s lip quirked. “Then what?”

Chell groaned in frustration, raising her arms above her head. “I don’t know! I’ll start an uprising with you, I’ll personally track down this Time Lord woman and force whatever information she has out of her lips. If that’s what you would _prefer,_ ” Chell took a breath, “then I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

Mad kicked her legs off the dash and stood in a single, fluid move. Mad was rarely graceful, but when she was it was with a purpose. She walked to Chell, cupping her face in her hands. The heat of her skin blossomed against Chell’s face, teasing every nerve in her body. Chell’s hands lifted instinctively and she felt her fingers thread over Mad’s wrists, holding her hands against her.

Chell closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of old leather and metal. And then Mad’s lips were against her, rough and hungry at first but then gentle, caressing, searching, sucking at her bottom lip. Chell couldn’t help the moan that escaped her as she welcomed the kiss, stepping voluntarily into Mad’s space, feeling the warmth of her chest against her own.

When they parted, Chell could barely breathe. She stared into the stormy depths of Mad’s eyes and panted, flushed and muddled.

“Thank you,” Mad told her softly. “I- I couldn’t ask for anyone better to be here with me.” Her expression darkened. “I’m not sure anyone else would.”

“Sh,” Chell said, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend lest her legs buckle. “I will always be there for you,” she whispered.

“And I you,” Mad said quietly. Then she shifted, suddenly restless again. “The co-ordinates.”

“I’ll do it,” Chell said. “You’re not going anywhere near Ze, not after what happened before.”

Mad grunted. “It was just a headache.”

“That wasn’t just a headache,” Chell snapped, drawing back to look her girlfriend in the eyes. “You couldn’t move, you couldn’t talk, I thought you were going to pass out right in front of that Time Lord.”

Mad smiled. “It would have created quite the scene. Maybe you’d finally have been able to use that line you always talk about. ‘Is there a doctor in the room?’”

“Hey,” Chell said, though she couldn’t keep from smiling. “The Hippocratic Oath is nothing to joke about.”

“Who’s joking?” Mad asked with fake affront. “It would have clearly saved my life.”

Chell sighed. She had just enough feeling in her legs to pull away properly and make for the AI nodule. “I’ll programme Ze with the co-ordinates,” she said again. “You go lie down.” Before Mad could say a word, Chell lifted a finger. “I don’t care if you’re not tired, do it anyway.” She turned to her girlfriend, still a little flush in the face. “We have a bounty to hunt.”

* * *

In the hours Chell hoped that Mad had slept, she sat in the captain’s chair, feet arched against the dash board, map spread wide over her lap. It was a holographic map with regular updates, just as the Time Lord had promised. Chell stared without thinking as the diamond-like light flickered against the map, unmoving.

What if this was a hoax? If these two women were really as dangerous as the Time Lords suspected, why would they have remained stationary for so long? If they had stolen a TARDIS, surely they knew the height of their crimes, the punishments that would surely follow?

The diamond flashed in the Nitroctic galaxy, a small subsection of space that had only recently been discovered by human adventurers. A lot of the planets in the Nitroctic galaxy had never been explored, most of them were thought to be uninhabited. Chell knew that the central planet, the largest and most Earth-like of them, was a set-up for illegal trading, but that wasn’t the planet where the diamond was blinking from.

It was one of the smaller planets, one that gave off a purplish hue. There had been rumour that the planet’s atmosphere wasn’t compatible with most species, that the gas it produced drove many mad. Due to those rumours, only the brave or incredibly stupid had ventured there and none very recently. Chell never found out whether those rumours were true.

Apprehension twisted in her gut. Would today be that day?

“Chell.”

Chell glanced up. Ze was stood at the helm of the ship, their pixelated form dancing against the backdrop of space. “We have entered the Nitroctic galaxy, we will reach our destination in approximately thirty minutes.”

Chell smiled. “Thanks, Ze. I’ll wake Mad.”

Ze’s image flickered. “Mad is currently conscious.” Their head pitched to one side. “And standing right behind you.”

Chell jumped, her boots slipping from the dash so that her feet hit the ground with a clatter. A shockwave of pain shot through to each of her knees. Chell hissed out, throwing the map to one side so that she could twist in her chair.

Mad stood at the main deck of the ship, which was only several feet from the captain’s chair. Behind her was the curtain she must have ducked out from, a curtain which led to their shared sleeping space. Mad’s hair was a mess, ruffled and curled in all the wrong places. Her blue eyes were ablaze with intrigue however, and she cleared the space between the deck and Chell in seconds.

Chell smiled sadly as Mad sat down in the space next to her. “Did you get any sleep?” she asked.

“I lay down,” Mad said, as if that was an adequate answer. She was staring imploringly at their new surroundings.

The Nitroctic galaxy spun in an orbit around a pale blue star; because of the natural gasses that emitted from several of the planets in the galaxy, when the star’s light interacted with them, it lit up the void with impressive swirls of violet and pastel blues, deep pinks and splashes of yellow. It was like looking at the Northern Lights back on Earth, except with a depth that could only be captured in the eyes of an artist. If Van Gough had been able to see this, he would have surely wept.

Chell’s mind buzzed with blinding static as she took in the sight of the new galaxy. She couldn’t hold merit towards any of the absurd rumours that circulated around this place, not when she was staring at the beauty that the very nature of the planets and stars created together. Chell suddenly wanted to hold Mad’s hand, but the look in Mad’s eyes wasn’t quite the same as hers. There was something wild to it, an unquenchable urge that could only be sated by the risks they were about to take – the adventure.

Chell scrambled for the map, smoothing it out and letting it overlap onto Mad’s legs. She pointed to the diamond. “They’re on this planet. Human explorers named it Tempest.”

“I’ve heard it has a rather unreliable nature,” Mad said, her lips quirking with intrigue. “Have you heard the stories?”

“I’ve heard the atmosphere makes people crazy,” Chell said dully.

Mad bumped her shoulder. “Never believe the stories. You gotta live ‘em if you want to know the truth.”

“And what if they _are_ true?” Chell asked.

“Well,” Mad said, shrugging solemnly. “It can’t make me mad if I already am, right?”

Chell frowned. “Mad… I’m going with you.”

“Sure,” Mad said. “Once I know it’s safe.” She wasn’t looking at Chell anymore.

Chell shook her head. “No, we do this together. I’m not letting you go down there alone… if the gas is really-”

“Michelle.”

Chell stopped, lips parting as she moved her gaze to Mad’s. Mad turned away as quickly as she’d glanced over, staring adamantly at the purple planet as it blinked into existence before them.

Mad sighed. “You’re human,” she said simply. “We know for a fact that these stories started because of human explorers. I… can’t risk anything happening to you. I won’t.” Mad’s fingers clenched on her lap, distorting the holographic pixels across the map. “Let me go first. If the air turns out to be clear, then I’ll let you follow. I promise.”

Chell’s lips trembled. “You’re humanoid, Mad. Y-you’re…” Chell trailed off, afraid to say anything more. “What if this gas affects you, too?”

“Like I said,” Mad grinned at her, “it can’t warp my mind anymore than it already is.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I’m not.” Mad’s fingers loosened. Her shoulders slumped forward, the motion knocked her hair across her face. A waterfall of dirty gold. “Let me do this,” she said quietly. “Please.”

Chell pursed her lips, locking her hands so tightly together that her wrists began to tremble. She swallowed hard. “What does that Time Lord have over you?” she asked.

Mad stiffened. “Nothing.”

“It’s clearly something,” Chell said. “Why would we be doing any of this otherwise?” She side-eyed her girlfriend. “I know you don’t like to talk about your past, but if this is important to you, then it’s important to me. Mad-” Chell reached out for her. Her fingers barely grazed Mad’s cheek before she pulled away. Chell sighed. “Mad, whatever this is, I’m here for you, I am. I just want to know what it is you’re looking for.”

Mad was silent for a long time, her lips twisted before thinning into a hard line. The blossoming hues of the void outside seemed to dance across her face, highlighting an emotion in her eyes that Chell just couldn’t read. She seemed tired, and that feeling stretched further than just a physical level. In that moment, every part of her looked exhausted.

Then Ze said, “We have arrived.”

It was like a fuse went off inside Mad’s head. The moment Ze popped to life at the helm of the ship, Mad was on her feet, hands pressed excitedly against the dash. The purple planet was well within view now, in fact it seemed so close that Chell thought she could see the possibly toxic atmosphere dancing and swirling below. She swallowed with difficulty.

Mad, however, was alive with intrigue. Whatever emotion had been welling to the surface just moments ago had been entirely overcome with a light so bright it practically burned in the backs of her eyes. Mad grinned with a fierce excitement, tapping the nodule where Ze’s consciousness was stored.

“Climb aboard, Ze,” Mad said. “We’ve got a TARDIS to find.”

“No,” Chell said, placing her hand firmly over Mad’s. “Absolutely not.”

Mad’s head snapped to face her, a look of profound hurt crossing her face. “What do you mean?”

There was desperation there. Chell knew that look well. When it came to new planets, new subsections of space, Mad threw all logic out the window. All she saw was the potential for adventure. She got lost in that feeling. It was as astounding as it was dangerous.

“You didn’t sleep,” Chell said firmly. “If you won’t let me come with you, I refuse to let you bring Ze along.” She winced. “No offence, Ze.”

“None taken.” Ze’s tone was perfectly polite.

“Is this because of the headaches?” Mad asked. “Because they’re nothing, Chell, you don’t have to worry. The longer I use Ze, the more natural it’ll feel. Didn’t your little tech wizard say just the same thing?”

“Big difference,” Chell said, squeezing her girlfriend’s fingers. “You’re not on some run-of-the-mill adventure. You’re not on a space beach getting drunk on margaritas. You’ll be down there in an atmosphere that’s potentially toxic, looking for two criminals that we know next to nothing about. If you got a headache or…” Chell closed her eyes, “or _worse…_ then I might not be able to pick up your signal in time. I might not be able to get you back to the ship.”

Chell left the worst of it unsaid, but the words practically screamed out in her mind: _you could die!_ It repeated like a broken record, gaining in strength the longer she remained silent. Chell knew she was tearing up, but she refused to do anything about it. If anything, Mad seeing her cry might be just the kick she needed to realise that what she was proposing wasn’t just dangerous, but stupid to boot. Surely she could see that.

The light behind Mad’s eyes began to dim. Her expression became more rigid, her fingers felt cold. Still, she nodded, tucking her hand away from the nodule. “Fine,” she said, pointing her free hand directly at Chell. “But you’re still not coming.”

“I didn’t say I wanted that,” Chell said, shrugging simply. “Besides, you need me up here to save your arse if you get into trouble. With Ze’s help, I can extend a signal down to ground level and try to figure out this whole atmospheric toxicity issue.” Now it was Chell’s turn to feel excited. “In fact, give me a couple hours and I’ll be able to determine the various compounds that make up the air you’ll be breathing. I could fix you up a mask that could filter out any toxic barriers!”

Mad’s eyes creased with a smile. “Chell…”

Chell felt the energy drain from her as quickly as it had come. She knew that tone of voice, knew there would be no arguing with it. “You can’t wait, can you?”

“I need to get down there,” Mad said, but she brightened the moment Chell’s expression began to fall. “Hey,” she said, lifting her girlfriend’s hands to her chest. “You can still help me, okay? Track the signatures in the air, if you think there’s anything dangerous, you can get me out in a snap. You’ll be my eyes in the sky. Just like with the Mark XX’s.” She drew Chell close, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. “I know you can do it.”

There was nothing Chell could do that would even allow Mad to entertain the thought of waiting. When time and space was your oyster, patience became unnecessary. Chell wondered if Mad might have learnt patience if she’d stayed with the Time Agents a little longer, but quickly discarded the thought. Mad was more than a Time Agent could ever hope for. She was leaderless and absolute, there was nothing in the known universe that could change that.

“I can,” Chell agreed, leaning into Mad’s side. “Just promise me you’ll be careful.”

Mad grinned, eyes flashing. “When have I ever not been careful?”

Chell rolled her eyes. “Just promise. For me.”

“I promise.”

* * *

To say Mad was fearless heading down to the planet Tempest was a lie that not even she could sell. No one knew what happened to those who ventured the Tempest’s path, and the last known explorers had never written anything of note, had never spread word of what they had seen. In fact, there was so little spoken of the planet Tempest that Mad sometimes wondered if anyone had ever visited it at all.

She put on a brave face for Chell, slamming her palm against her vortex manipulator with the wild gusto that her girlfriend was used to seeing. Chell wouldn’t see the flash of fear in Mad’s eyes as the light of the vortex manipulator swallowed her whole, or how she struggled to catch her breath when the light dissipated and she found herself standing on alien ground, surrounded by a mist so thick it choked her.

A densely packed forest surrounded her. The trees were wide and tall, stretching so high that Mad couldn’t see the tops of them from the ground. The bark was violet, the indents in the wood glowed a molten blue. Mad pressed her fingertips against the wood and felt a spark of life surge through her hands. She opened her eyes, finding that she could suddenly breathe a little easier.

Mad pressed a finger to her ear. “Chell, can you hear me?”

“Loud and clear,” Chell’s voice said, with just a hint of a smile.

Although Ze couldn’t paint a perfect image of what Mad was seeing from their ship above, they were still hardwired to Mad. That included the microphone chip that was lodged under three layers of skin, just beneath her chin. Chell would be able to hear Mad and Mad still had the same communication devices wired up from their previous adventure. Fixing them in a way that allowed Ze to harness that communication even through space had been time consuming, but overall worth the time spent. Although Ze wouldn’t be able to do anything except hold a sound pathway between the two, it was all that Mad needed. So long as she could hear Chell’s voice, she could take on the world.

“How do you feel?” Chell’s voice came again, a little wary.

Mad shifted, staring about her surroundings. The mist was thick and purple, it swirled above her head, guided by a wind she couldn’t feel. The mist seemed familiar, kind of like an opiate-based drug she’d once tried on a planet far from here. The native species had breathed the stuff like it was oxygen, and their behaviour had suggested that they lived on a constant high. Mad remembered the casinos that were built from glittering rock, the late-night parties and the moon that glowed like a pink candy in the sky. She remembered the smoking chambers and free drinks handed to her by scantily dressed men and women. That was all she remembered.

Mad blinked slowly. Her eyes felt heavier than usual, but she couldn’t be sure whether that was due to the smoke’s effect on her, or simply because it was so hard to see anything through it. She rubbed at her face, feeling the crunch of brittle leaves disintegrate beneath her boots as she moved forward.

“I’m fine,” Mad said when she realised she hadn’t said anything. She looked around, trying to figure out where she was supposed to go. The thick trees cut a single pathway for her and any gaps in the foliage were too thick with purple smoke to see anything through. She was being guided by the nature of the planet. Considering what she’d heard of Tempest, she wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing.

“Ze picked up an energy signature before they dropped the co-ordinates into your vortex manipulator,” Chell explained through the haze. “Where you are now is as close as we could get you to whatever that signature is. Now, considering the fact that the only notable energy signatures to the planet Tempest are weather-based, this particular signature is pretty damn out of the ordinary.”

“Electric?” Mad said, before shaking her head. “No, ‘course it can’t be electric. Storms ravage this place all the time.” She tapped her temples, opening her eyes wide. “Oh, hang on, an energy source that’s hard to come by… damn near impossible. So impossible it’s sexy.” She frowned, levelling her options. “Can’t be kinetic, too easy to stumble across. Heat signatures probably flare up with solar activity. Elasticity? Elastic strands… stretching space. Space… oh, _oh!_ ” Mad clapped her hands together. The motion was so sharp it batted the purple smoke that had been twirling around her fingers, dispelling it in several directions. “What’s stretchy and sleek and impossible on a planet with no life to make it?” Mad grinned wildly at no one. “ _Time_ energy.”

“Time energy enough to rival the machine on your wrist,” Chell said. “Time energy that, if I’d seen it a few days ago, well, I would have said it was impossible.”

“Hah,” Mad said airily. “Now you’ve met someone who makes it possible.”

“Still can’t quite wrap my head around it,” Chell said honestly. “I mean… what does this even mean for the Agency? If Time Lords are back then surely… surely that means the whole point of the organisation is obsolete?”

Mad snorted. “Please. Time Lords have been out of touch for centuries, millennia, who the fuck knows how long, really? They saw themselves as gods and they got cocky enough to think nothing could touch them. Well, big surprise, something did. Something touched them in all their gooey parts and damn-near came close to destroying the whole lot of them.” Mad hadn’t realised just how heated her voice had gotten until she felt the needle-prick sensation of her nails digging into the palms of her hands.

She paused where she was standing, glancing about herself. How long had she been walking? Had anything in her backdrop changed? She looked at the trees, at the same blue hue that came from every one of them. The lights like veins within the bark pulsed a steady rhythm that fell out of time with Mad’s heart. She bit her tongue, forcing herself to breathe deeply.

“Mad?”

Chell’s voice. Quiet, careful.

Mad sighed. “I’m good,” she said quickly. “Just… we can’t just assume the Time Lords want to fix everything they left behind. Who’s to say they ever fixed anything at all?”

“Well,” Chell said, her voice was still low, but Mad could hear her pitch shifting. She was about to talk about something that excited her. That alone brought Mad’s mood back up. “I’ve heard stories,” Chell continued, almost conspiratorial.

“Have you?” Mad couldn’t keep a smile from spreading across her face.

“I heard that not all the Time Lords died during the Time War,” Chell said eagerly. “Two were spared, or, uh, saved or something. There’s not much about it in the text books, but everyone who’s ever studied the Time War, who’s ever written a thesis on the outcomes of the Dalek invasion – well – every one of them thinks it was impossible for every Time Lord to have been wiped out that day.”

“Why two?” Mad asked faintly.

“So they wouldn’t be lonely?” Chell guessed. She laughed. “I don’t know. Some say two, some say one. Some say six – enough to power a TARDIS.”

Mad snorted. “Then we must be tracking some exceptional thieves.”

Mad could almost hear Chell shrug. “Well, they debunked that whole theory a while ago. Did you turn up to that lecture we had about those TARDIS blueprints Professor Song dug up? They say she theorised that anyone could learn how to pilot a TARDIS with the right teacher.”

Mad frowned. “She did?” She pulled a face. “I think I was hung over that day.”

“You were hung over _every_ day.”

“Semantics.”

Chell laughed again. “I’m serious, though. If a Time Lord did survive, well… I read some pretty radical things on a few student-published papers, some even weirder shit on the verse-wide web. People talk about a time traveller… and not ones like the Time Agents, not even like what the Time Lords used to be. No, this time traveller had a rule book all of their own and wherever they went…” Chell paused for dramatic effect. “Chaos.”

A shudder ran down Mad’s spine. Her boot caught on a rock and she reached out for the closest tree to support her. The same electric spark shot through her in an instant, powering through her blood right to her very core. She let go of the tree, staring at it in fascination.

“Nature’s funky down here,” Mad said.

“Funky fresh?” Chell asked without a hint of irony. She paused. “Are you feeling alright?”

Mad drummed her fingers across her temples, closing and opening her eyes a few times experimentally. She felt okay, but there was definitely something off. She just couldn’t place what that was.

“How far have I gone?” Mad asked.

She heard keys clicking across the comm. “Hard to say,” Chell said a moment later. “Ze can’t track your exact movement, but you’ve gone a fair distance. In fact, according to the whacky energy signature in conjunction to where the co-ordinates dropped you… you can’t be far off at all.”

Mad blinked. “What do you think I’m looking for?” She had half a mind to question the trees. There was definitely something weird about them.

“Anything,” Chell said. “If the time energy is leaking from a TARDIS then, well, there isn’t much it _couldn’t_ be. The Chameleon Circuit in a TARDIS is practically flawless. If these thieves are smart, the TARDIS could look like a tree or maybe even the whole forest. It would have to have an entryway though. Oh, does anything around you have a handle?”

Mad blinked slowly. The trees’ eerie glow was beginning to muddle her vision, scattering it with intrusive light. She rubbed her eyes. Then she paused.

There was a clearing up ahead. The whole forest seemed to bend around it, opening up into a grassy area with all kinds of flora bursting from the earth. The grass was a healthy pastel blue. Mad picked up her speed, dragging her hand across the last tree before the forest widened to accommodate the clearing.

It was there that she saw it.

“Uh,” Mad said, because that was all the words her brain could supply her with. Her mouth suddenly felt very dry. “Chell, I am so fucked up right now.”

“Mad? What do you mean?”

“I’m either high as a fucking kite,” Mad said slowly, “or the source of the time energy is a giant American diner.”

* * *

Mad had the sense of entering a mirage. On some level, she knew what she was seeing couldn’t possibly be real, but there it was, standing before her in all it’s glory, _mocking_ her.

It was a relatively large building, built in beiges and blues. The windows were large and huddled together, but Mad couldn’t see anything on the inside. It wasn’t quite like the glass was tinted, more so that there was some kind of perception filter keeping her from prying. There were advertisements on the windows proclaiming _the best burgers this side of the desert_. There was a picture of a strawberry milkshake that ate up a huge portion of the mottled wall. Mad blinked again. She was starting to feel hungry.

“Okay, okay, can you repeat that for me?” Chell said. “Because it sounded like you said _American diner._ ”

“Yeah,” Mad said faintly.

“On the planet Tempest?”

“Yup.”

“A planet that – as far as anyone knows – houses no intelligent life whatsoever?”

“Uh-huh.”

Mad listened as Chell took a long, drawn breath across the comm. “Mad,” she said plainly. “I’m having Ze scan your vitals and then I’m bringing you back to the ship.”

“No-” Mad shook her head violently, taking another unsteady step towards the diner. “Chell, you have to believe me… what I’m seeing. It’s _real._ It’s got to be the TARDIS in disguise, just like you said!”

“As a diner!?”

“As a diner!”

“Mad, please tell me you know how crazy that sounds,” Chell begged. “Tempest’s atmosphere could be playing tricks with your head. We were discussing the possibility of TARDIS camouflage minutes ago and now suddenly you see a giant American diner on an uninhabited planet?”

“I know!” Mad said through gritted teeth. “I get how wild it sounds, but what if that’s the whole point? It’s so crazy that no one would ever think twice about it. This mist is fucked up, it gets inside your head and muddles your brain. That paired with… with…” Mad gestured wildly at the diner, “with t _hat,_ it’s got to be some kind of genius plan.”

“It’s stupid.”

“Stupid mad,” Mad said, her voice choked with emotion. “Chell, it’s beautiful madness, exactly the brand of crazy that I’ve been looking for.”

“And you think it’s just a coincidence that you’re seeing something that inspiring to you?” Chell asked coldly. “This could just as easily be inside your head.”

Mad waved her off. “Let Ze run whatever tests you’ve got planned. I’m going to investigate.”

“Mad-”

But Mad wasn’t listening. Though the mist seemed to weigh her body down, she was motivated by the sight in front of her, by the big glass doors that boasted a ‘WE’RE OPEN’ sign in neon lights.

Chell might try to bite her ear off as she walked, but nothing would stop her from going inside.

The interior of the diner was as surreal as she had expected. It was narrower than it had looked from the outside, with patchwork tiles that seemed to bleed cold even through the soles of her boots. There were a set of tables and red leather dining chairs in a row against the right wall. None of them were occupied, but every one was outfitted with a menu and novelty ketchup dispenser. There was a coffee bar to her left, the varnished wood gleamed with moisture as though it had been recently cleaned.

There was an untouched milkshake on the bar’s surface. Strawberry, just like the advert.

In the background, Mad could hear a juke box playing. A long, old soppy song sung in a Texan twang. Guitar notes were hit after every other beat, leaving an otherworldly feel to the whole experience.

By far the most bemusing thing to grace her eyes was not the music, not the tile, not even the lone milkshake.

It was the fact that she wasn’t alone.

Laid out across the floor, huddled on their left side, was a woman.

Mad’s breath froze inside her chest. She fumbled with her earpiece, hoping to hear Chell’s berating voice on the other end.

Dead.

Her comm was dead.

Mad let her fingers fall away from her face. She stared awkwardly at the woman on the floor. She couldn’t see any vitals from here, any sense that the woman was alive at all. Had Mad stepped into a crime scene?

Well, this was certainly one of the few crime scenes she’d visited that she hadn’t had a hand in creating.

She sunk her hands into her jacket pockets, fiddling uselessly with the lint inside them. Taking a step forward, she cleared her throat, hoping to draw a sign of life from the body in front of her.

“Hey, lady,” Mad said. “You alright?”

The woman didn’t move. Mad sighed, rolling her eyes. “Fine,” she muttered, “I’ll do this the annoying way.”

She waltzed with no real sense of emergency towards the woman. The closer she got, the more details she was able to pick apart about the woman’s appearance. She had neatly cut, short brown hair. Her face was round and her features were small, but large set on her face. Her eyes were closed, her mouth open slightly. She seemed pale, but not the kind of pale you’d see on a dead body. She wasn’t bloated or rotten and certainly didn’t smell like death.

Mad kicked her in the arm with her boot. “Anyone alive in there?” she asked thinly.

With no reaction, Mad muttered a few curses in several of the languages she had committed to memory. She’d been planning on meeting two elusive and alive thieves. Not a decrepit and dead body.

The woman wasn’t breathing. Crouching to the floor, Mad felt for a pulse. Her skin was cold beneath her fingers, and nothing beat against Mad’s hand.

“Dead, then,” Mad said quietly. She thought about the Mire chip, about what the Time Lord had said. The Mire were a war species; though their technology was great, at times, it was set to fail. Of course, the Mire chip could keep a person alive, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t be killed. Was this the one the Time Lord had talked about? Was she the immortal?

Mad tutted herself. There was no point sitting here pondering the possibilities. If this really was the stolen TARDIS, she would have to prove it. So far, all she’d discovered was an elaborate camouflage.

“Every ship has a door,” Mad said lowly. She glanced about herself. The doors to the diner were a decoy, which was why they were so inviting. Mad remembered her studies on TARDIS ships and she’d had her fair share of experiences with perception filters. The real door to the TARDIS wouldn’t be as easy to find. In fact, it might not be a door at all.

“Secret door,” Mad breathed. “It’s gotta be…” she stood, scanning the room for any inconsistencies in it’s terrible décor. Something a little too ostentatious, a little too out of the ordinary. A little too _alien._

“That’s enough of that.”

Mad froze. The voice that spoke had come from the ground. The same tiled surface where the dead body lay.

But of course, the woman wasn’t dead at all, was she?

Mad snapped back to the woman, her hands slipping in and out of her belt in one fluid move. She had her Mark XX honed on her target in less time than it took for her heart to beat.

Of course, the woman on the ground had a gun too.

Why the fuck hadn’t Mad checked her for weapons?

“Well,” Mad told the stranger. “It seems we’re at an impasse.”

“Actually,” another voice said. Mad felt a coldness seep into the pit of her stomach, threatening to swallow her whole. She heard the shift and click of a gun’s safety being disengaged.

Mad turned to see another girl behind her. This one was shorter, stouter, but with the same brown hair. This one’s eyes were sharp, her expression closed and experienced. The gun in her hand was cocked in all the right ways. In any other situation, Mad might have had the gall to be turned on.

As it was, she was terrified.

Because she knew eyes like those. _Old_ eyes.

The girl’s button nose quirked when she smiled, and Mad noticed a small silver stud gleam from her left nostril.

“It seems to me,” the girl said, cocking her head, “that you’re just _screwed._ ”


End file.
